A note to Johnathons teacher

Ms. Mitchell,

          I am going to try and put into words just how grateful we are for you. Johnathon has always had some issues. Crying, hitting, throwing things, talking back, and I could go on and on. We have known there were issues but maybe we didn’t want to accept it, I don’t really know why we took so long to figure it out.

          At Johnathon’s last school he was always in trouble. If a child talked it was always blamed on him. At recess, a child would hit him and he would push back yet he was the only one to get in trouble as the teachers only saw him push. When 10 kids were walking the hall talking loudly Johnathon was the only one to get into trouble. When 3 kids did not do their class work, Johnathon was the one who got sent out. At recess he got in trouble for throwing a ball because another child broke a rule and he tried to tell.

          Johnathon was labeled and it affected him so poorly that I cried because I was scared he was going to fail at school. He hated going to school, he didn’t care about doing what he was supposed and he quit trying to better himself because he didn’t see a point. He talked about dropping out of school. He spent at least 1 time a week in the office getting yelled at by the principal because he didn’t know how to express his anger yet no one was willing to help him. I spent nights crying myself to sleep because I was scared for him and his future. Things got a little better but it took me being at the school every day to police him and the teachers. It is pretty sad that I  could only stay 7 hrs in the hospital after having a baby just so I could be at his school the next day to ensure he wasn’t being labeled but I did it.

          When we moved here I was scared. I knew it would be a big change for him and I was scared that things would be the same. I will never forget the day he had a meltdown in the lunchroom and your response. I knew that moment that you were going to be someone special. Johnathon thrived in your care. His attitude, his demeanor and everything about him blossomed. He started to love school and trust you and others. He still has him moments and always will but we have seen parts of Johnathon that we have not seen since he was 2. That loving boy that he is at home, he started being at school. His work improved and he was able to improve on his relationship with others.

          I know you spend a lot of time trying to help him and others and I am forever grateful for that. You helped me get my little boy back and for the first time in years I didn’t dread him going to school. I didn’t cringe every time the phone rang wondering what he did wrong. I can drive more than 30 min away while he is in school and not fear having to come back because he did something wrong.

          I wish more teachers were like you. I do. You are amazing and wonderful and because of you my son has a brighter future.

          I am scared for next year but I am confident that he will succeed because of all he has learned while in your care.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts,

Heidi Berard

2012 update.....

Well I thought I was going to get better at blogging but life has been crazy. We moved to TX in Aug and the boys started a new school.

Johnathon adjusted quite well. It was evident on the first day of school, just how amazing his teacher would be. He had a meltdown in the lunchroom because the rules were not explained to him. He wanted to sit down to eat and a teacher got on him for sitting and told him he had to stand. He was not happy with this and had a meltdown. His teacher assured me that she immediately asked the lunch room supervisor if they had explained the rules, they hadn't. His teacher explained to them that they had to go over the rules before as to not throw curve balls at him. He can't deal with that.

I started getting into my research mode again. I started thinking back to things about Johnathon, his oddness, his capability to make friend but not keep them, his meltdowns, his fear of loud noises, his aversions to textures (mainly those of fruits and vegetables),  talking back and failure to realize what he is doing, how smart he is and how, when things got overwhelming, he went into rages or crawled under desks to try and cope. I knew there was something more than just ADHD and with the help of professional he received a diagnosis of Aspergers. It fit and it explained things right down to him having a meltdown at the thought of breaking a school rule.

Johnathon's diet has been tough but working well. We still play around with the supplements to find one to help him not talk so much as it continues to be a constant distraction. Johnathon's current intake includes, fish oil, attentive child, ginkgo biloba, vit b complex, multi-vitamin and the children's Allegra for allergies. He is still taking melatonin most nights but is slowly learning to relax enough on his own not to need it. This has been a steady for this entire school year.

His teacher works so hard to help him adjust in class. She spent a lot of time working with him one on one and plays a major roll in how well he is functioning now.

Johnathon's meltdowns are virtually no more unless he breaks his diet then we pay dearly for about 1-2 weeks. He is doing so much better in school. He made the A/B honor roll and has maintained friendships at school. He still has moments but overall he is functioning very very well.  His grades dipped a little this semester as we had a lot of changes at home but overall he has exceeded where he was a year ago.

Johnathon gets frustrated with the diet. It is hard for him b/c he can't enjoy Papa John's pizza with us. I work hard to assure he has safe alternatives and special things just for him and he is starting to accept it better.

The end of school is in 2 days. Johnathon will be going to a new school and 4th grade next year. Today I took cookies and cupcakes to the teachers and school staff to thank them for everything. All I heard was how they will miss him and how sweet and loving he is. One even gave me her email so I can keep in touch. She has also set up contacts with the staff at his new school to ensure he never goes through what he went through in Germany.

My kids is amazing and wonderful. He has earned awards for A/B honor roll, student of the month, character counts and more. All in a year, a year of diet changes, supplements, self dedication and a great school staff.

Update on how things are going.....

I would be lying if I said this journey was easy. It isn't. I have a much better appreciation for those who choose this route yet understand why those don't. It is hard. It is so very very hard.
I feel bad for Johnathon as there is not many things here he can eat. We make it work out.

Since starting the diet we saw improvements within 2 weeks. He used to bring home 4 smileys or less every day. His teachers would complain often of him being angry and not wanting to work. Now he is bringing home 8-12 every day. 12 is the most he can get. When he does get in trouble it is usually from talking so much. For those of you that know Rob and I you know that this is more from us than ADHD.

Johnathon has seasonal allergies. They are bad enough that his eyes will swell shut. We started trying different allergy meds to help him. Claritin wore off by bed time so we tried Zyrtec. The next 2 days at school he was bringing home 4 or less smiley faces. So we switched to Singular. Same issue. It is evident these medication cause behavior issues. We looked into Allegra but the children's pills have aspartame so that was out. The adult dosage was way too much so we went with the liquid Allegra.

Johnathon is back to bringing home 8-12 smileys a day so the allergra is working but yet another expense added to his treatment regimen.

He still has his moments when he can't concentrate and we are working on ways to teach him to get his mind back on track. He is learning geometry and cursive. He is having to re-teach me things. He is reading well well above what is average for his age.

It is hard. We struggle to buy the things he needs. When I look at him and I see how these things are helping him, it makes it all worth it. He is happy, healthy and marinating friendships. He is not making up stories anymore and obsessing over characters. He is doing his work and improving.

My kid is awesome! I love him more and more everyday.

Our search for treatments...........

I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I am scared I am making the wrong choice for him but I am scared of the alternative. You hear things about the drugs used to treat ADHD and you realize how common the side effects are, some are permanent.
Tics, psychosis, rages, mood swings, zombie likeness, growth being stunted and so so so many more.
Most people I know with children on these drugs have experienced one or more of these side effects and have to try drug after drug to find the one that is right for their kid...
Sometimes the damage is done and the effects are permanent.
How could I live with myself if something like that happened to my child? How, when I know there are safe methods that could help him. I can't do it.
In Feb I was so desperate I considered starting him on meds. He was doing horrible in school and I was crying daily. It was a very bad time and I was getting desperate to help him. I actually went to the dr and asked for meds and he refused. I am thankful now that he did.

I composed myself and finally hit a breaking point. I started pouring hours and hours into researching how to help him. I still stay up nightly to search for ideas. I realized why I wanted to go this route and stood firm to what I originally wanted.

I learned that some food allergies, metal poisonings, thyroid problems, food sensitivites and so much more can play a role in a child with ADHD. This leads to testing and eliminating foods and dyes.

About 2 weeks ago I took away all artifical dyes and flavorings, I took away about 85% of his dairy intake and started him on other minerals.

Johnathon takes special cookies to have at school and I pack his lunch for him and read labels before the school serves him food. It is hard but it is worth it.

In the morning he takes nerve drops, Attentive Child, magnesium, calcium, multi-vitamin and Omega 3 oil. At night he takes melatonin and Omega 3 and more nerve drops.

We have also started a new reward system with him. It has proven very effective and we are using it with Seth as well. He can gain poker chips for pretty much anything good he does but he loses them for anything bad even huffing about not wanting to do homework. In the beginning he lost 30 pokerchips in an hour.
When he hits 50 he gets a special toy or money. He even earns tokens for doing well at school.

Next week I will be talking to the Dr about testing Johnathon for metal poisionings and other things. I want a through exam done to rule out any other causes, even if the chances are slim, it is worth knowing.. We are waiting on the results of bloodwork to let us know if there are any food allergies affecting him.
He is also seeing the school counselor for behavior modification therapy. Soon we will start an IEP with the school to help him even more.


I am going to make a small disclaimer here:
I get that this is a struggle and not everyone believes this or has the time or it just didn't work for them. I don't expect everyone to be able to do this or believe this or whatever. I get that some parents choose meds and that is okay. I am in no way, shape or form, judging another person b/c of the choices they made for their family. So don't think that, don't feel the need to come at me with why you chose meds. You did what is right for your family and that is really all that matters.

The realization of a problem

I always knew something was not right with Johnathon. At 3 he started pre-school and never wanted to listen. He was violent with his teachers, other kids and never followed rules. At 4 he would have melt-downs at the slightest change in his routine. He was energetic and always talked a lot.
When he started Kindergarten he would have rages and throw things and rip up things. I asked teachers and counselors what could be wrong and everyone said he was bored and needed to be kept busy. He got suspended and couldn't concentrate on work and his penmanship was horrible. He was reading though. He was reading very well.

Halfway through first grade I took him to a psychologist who claimed he didn't sound ADHD just that he was too smart and didn't match well with his teacher. So of course I didn't push it even though I knew there was an issue. I mean he was reading at a 2-3rd grade level in 1st grade.

Finally I stepped in. I realized Johnathon was getting in trouble in recess and lunch mainly and that would set the mood for the rest of his day. I started spending every recess and lunch supervising and quickly realized he was already labeled as the bad kid and trouble maker. No one saw what was done to him, only what he did back. So I put a stop to it and made them realize he wasn't the one causing the issues. This stopped his rages almost instantly.

Johnathon started 2nd grade and the teachers were optimistic. I started him on Attentive Child and fish oils to try and help him. About 4m in it was evident it wasn't enough. He was talking back, not doing work and having crying spells. We worked on a plan to help him and I thought things were going okay. About a month ago I sat down with his teachers and they basically told me they were about to give up on him. They said he should be able to get through class without acting how he does. FINALLY someone was honest with me. FINALLY after all this time someone agreed something was wrong. So I made the dreaded appointment.

On March 11 he was finally evaluated for ADHD. It is so evident that he has it.

Our journey to help him began. I have spent countless hours trying to find ways to help him.

I have started this journal as an outlet for myself. I realized, during this process, that I don't really have any friends, here physically, that understand and that know what we are going through, and I really need an outlet so I can continue to help him.

I hope that this journal will help others understand Johnathon more and why we are choosing the path we are.

My awesome kid got himself dressed without a struggle today so I had a moment to sit down and write this.